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Tuesday, April 22, 2014

Give Me Back The Living Hell.

I mean, why the fuck are we doing this?

I mean I enjoy the communication side of it.  A bit one sided I admit.  Storytellers are generally fairly one sided in their concept of transferral of information ie. It goes from ME to YOU :).  I generally assume that what you're going to tell me is of little or no interest to me because:-

a)  If it was interesting you wouldn't tell me
b)  It will be boring and I'll have to pretend I'm interested by generous nodding of the head.
c)  You probably won't stop bullshitting until it's time for me to leave

So I guess from THAT perspective the internet is a very good place indeed for me to convey the side of myself that NO ONE knows anything about in the real world.  Of course they're aware I'm a bit of a head case and that my daughter is a great big head case, but other than that they don't make it their business to see through the veneer of my exterior presence to reveal what treasures (or lack thereof) lie beneath the facade.

To be honest with you I do not believe anyone gives much of a shit.  Some people actually wear it on their t-shirts in this country.  True!  They walk around with a t-shirt displaying the sentence, "Ask somebody that gives a shit."  I think bloody hell what hope have we got if grown men are walking around with that attitude emblazoned upon their chests. Perhaps it is THOSE t-shirts that started the insidious infection that now represents how most people feel about the world beyond this Great Southern Land.  They could not give a shit.  Just don't bring it to our shores and fuck up our brilliant lives.  That's not me, you understand, it's them.

I can't say as I blame them, however, what with the way the world is going.  I think perhaps we grew too big too fast and it's going to come back around and bite us on the ass if we all don't slow down and try to come to grips with what the future might hold for our children in a world where information is at their fingertips and sophistication is a word you'll be able to accurately apply to five years old's in years to come.  I strongly believe that THIS IS A GOOD THING and that the world, albeit slowly, will learn to unite where they hadn't been unification before.  This is going to be the link between today's people and tomorrow's .... THIS THING I'M TYPING INTO :).

The reason why I believe this so strongly is because we can pour our hearts out into software.  We can type away to our heart's content and air many wounds, solve many of the worlds problems, rant and rave until the COWS COME HOME ... but really what use is all this hot air (or in my case finger tapping) if we can't have a response and a retort.  However given time I think you'll get the hang of it and it's inevitable that one day our mental bonds, as humans, will grow as we get the positive kickback of interaction via text.  I think too that the type of people that will ultimately dominate the world will be NERDS because everyone will be staring at some kind of computer screen to do just about every kind of job I can think of.  The new smart phones will know so much about you that it'll be like having your very own pal in your back pocket.  I mean who the hell will need friends any more?  Now this is MY KIND OF UNIVERSE.  No more fake bullshit alliances or boring people that you must tolerate if you are to continue to exist (ie. children).  Nup, none of that crap any more.  You can operate fully autonomously in an autonomous universe.  The only world that you'll need to have any interest in whatsoever will be your inner world of consciousness, for you will not require to be conscious of any other mental presence for there won't be one accept when you're communicating on your phone.  If we wish to procreate we simply contact www.babypleasenow.com and they will come and take your eggs (or sperm) away and mate them and bring you back a kid all ready for rearing by you.  OOO WON'T YOU BE A LUCKY DUCK THEN.

Yes, the new world will be like a world of technology moving as smoothly as CLOCKWORK.  Any spanners in the works will not be tolerated and they will be removed from the production line.  Your destiny will be known from a young age that you will one day have to take your place on the production line just like everybody else.  And the day someone drops dead and falls off the conveyor belt it will be filled with a younger model such as your good self :).

You know what?  I don't think I want this world with everything running smoothly and like clockwork and everyone doing exactly the right thing all the time.

In fact ... GIVE ME BACK THE LIVING HELL ....








Sunday, April 6, 2014

Sadness (Enigma)


I like music.  I like sadness.  Sadness has become what I am.  Sadness is what gets me up in the morning and sadness is what I go to bed with at night.

I think I would not be able to carry on without my sadness.  It has become my crutch.  It is as though the sadness inside me is my STRENGTH and should I let all of it go I would be left a very mediocre person with a mind filled with nothing but bitter sweet memories of how my life and other's lives could have been

So I stand up for my SADNESS and I feed it daily with all the things that perpetuate that feeling.  I've got lots of circumstances and experience to draw upon to foster that sadness and so the twisted pain that I feel towards my fellow man in my head continues to flourish.  You too would feel like this if you had had the things happen to you that have happened to me.

It is possible to relinquish your pain and let it all go and be free.  The difference is with me is I cannot be free of my SADNESS.  My SADNESS IS ME.  Without my pain and SADNESS the best part of me would die.  I will always long for the people in my life that should have been there for me ... MY SISTER, MY DAUGHTER, MY FATHER. And sometimes I do ... sometimes I have it completely worked out.  But then it slips through my fingers again and I find I'm back to square one.

The suicide of a sibling, the sexual control of a warped Father, a mentally disabled child, and the misunderstandings of a world gone bad.  That's what living represents to me.  The only time I feel any sense of wholeness on the planet is when there is music and drugs.  They take me out of this cruel world.  They ensure that my escapism is complete.  One day they will be my ticket out of here ... probably in a wooden crate bound for cremation.

People can't hurt you when you're ALREADY BROKEN.  You shouldn't use a beautiful woman for your own sexual gratification.  If men are meant to love and protect me then they have failed on so many levels.  And if women are meant to be a part of the SISTERHOOD then I haven't seen much evidence of any of this love in action.

Women need to be independent and free to seek out their own way of life.  They shouldn't be made to wear black robes from head to foot in case some other man finds them sexually attractive and wants to fuck them.

MEN SHOW SOME FUCKING SELF CONTROL!  Just because we flaunt it all around on the TV, the internet, the magazines, cd covers ... in fact fucking everywhere really ... YOU MUST RISE ABOVE IT.  Don't allow the media to control your sexual desire.  You must search inside your heart and see if you can find the love and responsibility that is needed for you to make your women understand you again.  The trust you acquire in your lifetime is through a lifetime of knowing that YOU WILL NOT FALTER no matter what temptations are put in front of you.  If you take away the TEMPTATION, you are not RISING ABOVE IT, you are merely holding off the inevitable of WHAT WE ARE.

Temptation is controllable.  You can have your cake and eat it too but it takes time and you must return to your own innocence like a child to see what people really see when they look at you.

A RETURN TO INNOCENCE ..












Friday, March 21, 2014

Returning to reality



Forgive me GOOGLE for I have sinned.  It's been months since my last post.  I would like to now confess that I am losing the will to live just like every other well meaning and disillusioned individual on the planet.

There are a few key reasons as to why the will to live is slowly draining from my body, just like yours:

1)  The world has been taken over by cunts.

 I'm sorry to swear, truly.  But it's such a great word and I can't use it anywhere but in print or I'd get my head kicked in, because you're all so politically correct.  The conflicts of interest in this world are such that there are only a very few things that matter to the powers that be and they are money (their own bank balances mainly), other people's money (getting their hands upon it) and suppressing the good citizens of the world by pretending all is well when they've put us in one big mess after another since the 1970's

2)  The future of the world is compromised.

I'm sorry if that sounds bleak.  It certainly would be if you were a pregnant woman and reading this.  For that I'm truly sorry.  I do not wish to put fear into the hearts of innocent people, but the fact of the matter is, I can't see how we're gonna dig our way out of this, thanks to the Bush Regime who managed to put the whole of the western world's life at risk by fuelling and then playing with FIRE (the Arabs)

3)  Religion will ensure the nails are in the coffin.

To all those people who have faith and feel strong as a result, all the best and good luck to you.  We don't want you to lose your faith in the only thing that has kept you strong possibly for your whole life and we understand that, but the fact of the matter is, your bullshit concepts that are absolutely false and serve nothing more than your own insecurities are what is preventing the world from uniting.  Give them all up!  Throw them all in the trash can and start again.  Let's face it, we are going to kill each other over fantasies!  GROW UP!

4)  The resources of this planet are finite.

To all those people that like to live in their own mental bubble by pretending that everything is in abundance and we don't have to fight for food, shelter, clothing, a job .... WAKE UP!  One day there will be an over-population problem and the global economy will simply not be able to be sustained as there will be no more raw materials to work with.

5)  Hardship, disease, death

What a great time we're all gonna have in the future after the BIG POWERS strip us of everything and leave us to wallow in our own doom and despair while they still try and flog us something with a smile on their face


A revolution is the only thing that's gonna save the little guy but sadly the little guy will get trampled in a revolution as well because the bullies and the scum bags will come along and rob you, rape you, take your children and rape them, and then in a few years they will be the major power and smile at your while they try to flog you something.

Let me tell you something ECONOMY .. you'd better start looking after the little guy or pretty soon we won't care to purchase any of your shit that we don't need anyway for the sake of your hip pocket nerve.


THE REVOLUTION WILL NOT BE TELEVISED ...






Sunday, August 25, 2013

THE LEGEND OF THE PHEONIX

I have no idea what it is actually.

However Daft Punk featuring that lovely human being they call ... well I don't recall actually ... have released a single that I just adore and every time I hear it I have to jump about in a really silly way.

Occasionally, however, there comes a song that transcends the silliness and we must celebrate the existence of a song that will make us stand up involuntarily from our seats and raise our hands up in the air as if to praise the Lord or Allah or Buddah or who ever the fuck it was that you think is better than you.

I personally don't think anyone is better than me .. and if anyone of the male heterosexual varietal should cross my path that I think is BETTER than me ... well ... I might just want to marry him.

And if I want to marry him ... he'd better want to or he won't be better than me for very long ;) xxxx



Kind regards,

QT Ellis.

Daft Punk - Get Lucky (Official Audio) ft. Pharrell Williams

Tuesday, June 25, 2013

You May Say I'm A Dreamer

When you've got kids ~ albeit really strange ones ~ you become more interested where the future will take humanity when you've died.  As though you've sowed a seed into the gene pool of human kind for all eternity.  Even more so, I would imagine, if your children have children and you're still alive to witness them, it's even more intriguing to think what the world will be like when your grand child is as old as you one day.

When you think of the ingenuity of our species in how far we've come it seems incredible to me that with all the violence and terror in the world people are still prepared to leave their homes and go see it for themselves.  I regret having never traveled as now I'm not sure whether I want to.  I'm beginning to think that maybe the world will not be a free thinking place in the future like we've enjoyed here in Australia since I was born.  I can say whatever I like on here in the name of free thinking and speaking ... it's my blog and well, if you don't like it, you have the right to leave this page whenever you feel compelled to do so.  That's free thinking.  I  take it for granted that I have the ability and capacity to think for myself and for the most part make my own decisions about my role and behavior in life.  There are some people in the world, however, who do not have the gift of living under these conditions.  Their life is governed by things they have been born into and they will take their place in the indoctrination line along with their siblings and enter into the belief system that is, simply, false.

This is a distressing situation.  I think all people of the world should have a choice as to what they believe and how they want to live their life.  There are some fundamental rules of thumb of course which are you must follow the law of the land and abide by it.  They must work and pay their taxes and get paid handsomely so they're happy and secure so they'll go out and spend it and hence the economy wheel turns.  We need to get more savvy in dealing with waste as the population increases and more products are being consumed.  We need to find a way forward that will make the most of what Mother Nature has to offer us yet be concerned and always bare in mind the environmental cost that will be a future burden.

Sometimes I feel angry at the fact that for the short time we're alive we learn that despite all the education and training and management skills we've endured for the sake of our bank balances, we can't seem to transfer that into anything meaningful on a global scale.  In business they understand streamlining.  I think human beings as a whole have to get better at streamlining.

If you've ever looked in the mirror and asked yourself *What the fuck am I doing and why?*  then you'll understand where I'm coming from.  Surely if we had a definitive understanding of exactly WHAT THE FUCK WE WERE DOING and is it TO THE GREATER GOOD that we are DOING IT FOR?  Surely if we could find answers to these questions we could put our minds at rest that our journeys through life are worthwhile and are to be celebrated and praised and give greater credence and respect to those who passed through life earlier and made it possible to live in free societies today around the world.  Without unification and solidarity worldwide in seeking to identify the answers to these problems and become more of a collective voice, I feel that more unnecessary segregation and unrest may occur once again.

I mean, what if we find out that we're actually the living by-products of some experiment that went horribly wrong and they're keeping us alive on Earth until such time as they need more food? 

HE'S A REALLY USEFUL ENGINE.


That's what I like about men is they're useful.  Well admittedly there'll be some of you that are better than others and there'll be some that can't do a fucking thing I guess, but generally speaking I think men are very useful in their ability to lift heavy shit, balance on roofs, repair shit and clean shit that's high up, that sort of thing.  Bloody marvelous they are and I bet their wives don't tell them what an absolute advantage you have to be hooked up with a useful man.

You may be wondering what's wrong with me for not having one of these useful people around?  Well as a matter of fact, they are around.  I mean, not quite where I want one yet *wink* but they're AROUND.  If you think I'm being obtuse then you're right.

There are some things you just have to put down to *the luck of the draw* and where love is concerned I must have drawn the short straw.  Perhaps I tried too hard at one time?  Perhaps I've learned the lesson too late that you can't force it and you can't really trust it either.  I'm supposing that the older married people I see still holding hands in the shop are evidence that marriage can be a very excellent union and a very productive one for both individuals.  The secret ingredient to marital success is that after the initial flush of sexual attraction has *warn off, you must be blatantly honest with yourself and assess whether or not you feel a certain sense of compatibility.  If there is any doubt whatsoever I truly believe it's better to let someone down at this point ~ no matter how painful ~ than it is for your significant other to feel a never ending resentment for the fact they can't seem to make you happy.  Fact of the matter was they always loved you more than you loved them.  Whilst the latter is the most "comfortable" place to be from an emotional perspective, it's a situation that's hardly healthy for either party, as both of you are at complete mental loggerheads with each other.  The resentment that one partner feels for being unappreciated falls on the hardened heart of the other partner, who married for reasons that they probably THOUGHT were love, but turns they were not love but something else (ie. Insecurity).

I still feel that I'd function better however if I had the intimacy of marriage.  Of course for me circumstances play a huge role and I doubt that I could ever find anyone, and of course by TRYING to find someone I have broken the sin of FORCING love, which of course can never be achieved.  Love on a higher plane could be represented by the love you have in your heart for your fellow man.  If you have a lot of compassion and empathy for the plight of humanity then you'll be what I'd call a LOVING person.  If I watched a porn star going up and down on a stiff dick however I wouldn't necessarily consider her a LOVING person, although she indeed may be performing a loving ACT, I don't necessarily perceive that as LOVE.  Possibly because it's the physical gratification of sexual activity that makes it seem like something SELFISH, when often the "ACT" of sex is what we create to make our significant other feel GOOD about the sexual sensation.  So hence if you said to me, Carolyn, you have a choice of a guy that's either a) compassionate and empathetic or b) Hung like a donkey ~ I guess I'd have to go with the former and hope like fuck that his dick was as big as his heart.

I wouldn't like to think my life will always be this barren.  Although I'm fully aware there are many people who live a fairly long part if not all of their life single.  I must admit the independence of single life is extremely attractive in some respects but if you really care about your beloved it won't be something you think twice about when the time comes.  It will be as natural as leaving your old life behind and embarking on a new journey, but this time with someone you can share it all with and fuck as well.  Sounds good doesn't it?